26 July 2025: Radical acceptance

You know how people get married and they say, “for better or for worse”?

They don’t know each other completely. None of us ever truly do. We don’t even fully know ourselves. We evolve, we change. We don’t know what life will throw at us or what situations we’ll find ourselves in down the road.

It’s the same when we get a dog. We don’t know if we’re getting a dog that will be anxious, or sick, or what unexpected behaviours will show. We don’t know their character or the exact situation we’ll be facing years from now.

But we still do this blind acceptance. We say yes—to the person, the dog, the path. We don’t know the full picture, but we accept what’s in front of us. And we accept the future, unseen. We just know we want this person, this animal, this life—and we accept all of it. We are there for it.

So…What if we did that with ourselves?

Radical acceptance.

That’s what I did when I arrived in Canada—After the Universe blew up the life I had spent eight years building, at the cost of a thousand lifetimes of energy.

I arrived in this new space, on this new continent, in this quiet little house. And for the first time in forever, I looked around and saw myself. My own space. And I breathed in, and on the exhale, like a release I had waited my whole life for, I declared: I accept myself.

Just like that.

Did I know myself? No. I barely knew the versions of me—like Pokémon evolutions. All the shapes I had tried to become and unbecome in order to survive, to adapt, to protect myself. To navigate people.To gain approval. To meet expectations. To be normal. To be accepted. To fight for love.

But all that molding into different shapes was actually…me walking away from myself.

From my voice. From my intuition. From my essence.

I had looked at myself through so many distorted lenses.I had never taken the time to just be me and get to know who I really was.

And in that quiet moment, I didn’t have the answers. But more than anything, I made a decision: That no matter who I am—I already accept it.

This kind of thing doesn’t happen overnight. And at the time, I didn’t really understand what acceptance meant. I hadn’t met all my parts. I didn’t yet know how to accept them.

But I made the decision to accept. no matter what and that made all the difference.

It meant I would begin the search. That I would gather the pieces. That I would learn what acceptance means—one part at a time.

I don’t know who I am. I don’t fully know how to love myself without judgment yet. But I want to know. And I will learn how.

I will learn how to understand. How to embrace. How to forgive. How to love.

I haven’t figured everything out yet.

Some days I’m full of grace and acceptance. Some days I judge. Some moments I say, “fuck it, whatever happens, happens.” And others, I spiral: “What if I don’t figure it out in time?”

And so it goes—upsies and downsies, highs and crashes.

But when I zoom out…on the long-term graph of my soul’s evolution…I see it trending upward.

That’s what matters.

That’s my North Star. That decision. That vow .That radical acceptance—is the key difference beneath all my failures, doubts, and stumbles.

I may fall, but I remember what I’m working toward, and I know—I’m learning how.

I’m graduating from Radical Acceptance University.

And yes, I’m taking some complementary courses too:

💔 Emotional Resilience 301

😅 Self-Forgiveness (with a side of awkward laughter)

🌀 Navigating Uncertainty without a Map

🎭 Identity Deconstruction 101

🌊 Riding the Wave of Sadness with Style

I’m enrolled.

And I’m showing up. Every day. Even when I don’t know how.

Because that’s what love looks like—when you turn it inward.