May 10 2024 - Paralyzed

My heart feels constricted. Under pressure. There are things , emotions, in my heart that make it hard for me to think, to focus, to execute, to even know what's the best thing for me to do at this moment. 

Don't wanna listen to music, don't want to watch anything, can't focus on the solution of my problem, so what do I want, and can do?

Feels the same as the day my hands were next to the bee’s hive. And the bee's angry buzzing was telling my brain to run away, but my body couldn't move. It feels overwhelming, crushing, big. Why, I don't know. 

Even if I know the next steps: decompose the situation in the smallest task possible, the very minimal task and start from there. But I can't even do that now. My question is why?

Why that makes me feel paralyzed, why I feel this way. 

Overwhelmed.